July 2012
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You Are Superfantastic! elsewhere on the Internet! →
Hello! Despite the fact that I’ve still been writing for Imprint this term, I haven’t been updating this site with recent columns. While it’s most likely been because I am criminally lazy, the “official reason” is that the Imprint website wasn’t getting updated and as a result, I’d have nothing to link back to, because I like linking back to things!
Now,...
May 2012
8 posts
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[COLUMN] KONY 2012? KONY FOREVER (Misprint)
A disclaimer: this “column” wasn’t written for Imprint itself, but rather for Misprint, an insert in the issue closest to April Fool’s Day for, well, April Fool’s Day. Is it a bit touchier than usual? Possibly! Does someone still get congratulated? Yes! Do I feel like a terrible person after writing this? Absolutely.
You can read Misprint in its entirety here.The...
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[COLUMN] It's not a trap! It's a surprise.
Benjamin writes:
I managed to plan the perfect weekend for my girlfriend’s birthday. I planned to bring her to the Maple Syrup Festival on Saturday, March 24th, 2012. Her birthday was just before the weekend so I surprised her by writing the itinerary into the cover of her birthday card. It was perfect – no spelling mistakes. On Saturday, March 24th, we headed down to Elmira to attend the Maple...
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[COLUMN] E-N-V-S! You can't spell supervillain...
@stevekrysak tweets:
Some awesome ENV kids won a WESEF grant for $60,000 to improve the ENV coffeeshop and make it exponentially more AWESOME!
Ah, good ol’ money. Fact: money makes the world go ‘round! I know this to be true from the song cleverly titled “Money” from the musical Cabaret! Thus, we can extrapolate that with more money, one would naturally be able to exert more control over the...
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[COLUMN] Sometimes, being premature is okay!
Anonymous writes:
Guess what. I finally finished university. Exciting huh? I am excited despite the lack of !!!! I am going to Cuba to celebrate. Until then I will be taking naps and watching hilarious episodes of Community.
Congratulations! You’re apparently done university! I don’t know about you, but the last time I checked, there were still a few weeks left of class, with exams as the...
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[COLUMN] Hell Week: like every other week, but...
Anonymous writes:
I survived my hell week!
Oh, the university life: eat, sleep, and study. As enjoyable as university can get, eventually we reach that point in the term where all the important assignments and assessments suddenly pile on, resulting in a stressful period frequently known as “hell week.” Of course, it varies depending on your schedule, but you understand the feeling – long...
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[COLUMN] Creeper in my home
Anonymous writes:
A creeper in Minecraft blew up right next to me and I didn’t die.
I need to be honest with you, Anon: I have never played Minecraft. As far as I am concerned, I currently have no plans to change that. It doesn’t matter that it’s apparently a wildly popular game, it doesn’t matter that it’s got adorable 8-bit graphics, and it doesn’t matter that it appeals to that inner Lego...
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[COLUMN] Premature Congratulations/Breeding Week
A foreword for you, dearest reader!
If you take a look at your calendars, you’ll notice that, depressingly enough, Reading Week is basically over. What did you plan to do? Study? Eat? Sleep? Did you actually do any of that? Whatever the case is, there are TONS of you out there (tons, right? Tons of you read this column, right? Right?), each with individual plans for Reading Week.
With so many...
February 2012
5 posts
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[COLUMN] OMG Becky, look at her birthday
OMG UW MOD writes:
OMG UW is turning four years old! Four!
As a column dedicated to the congratulations of the deserving, it would seem almost natural to see congratulations on a regular basis for a variety of different birthdays. Search the archives, however: you will find no such thing. Seeing as I’ve never really had the opportunity to delve into the many silly policies and tenets that I...
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[COLUMN] Forever alone?
Anonymous writes:
Will you congratulate me on getting hung up on this guy I’ve never met (but my friend was supposed to hook me up… never ended up meeting this guy) and then pathetically getting upset after I find out he’s seeing someone? :/ kthx.
SURPRISE QUIZ: between a newborn baby, Demi Moore, and a widow, what do they have in common? While you debate if this short quiz was...
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[COLUMN] The most awkward type of peacekeeper:...
Tumblr user smoestoe writes:
Hi! I would like to be congratulated for not going crazy even though I have been here for three years or so in a degree (Peace and Conflict Studies) that people make fun of, even though it’s necessary for making sure humanity doesn’t blow itself up!
I’m not sure if any single one of us entered university fully knowing what to expect. We all have our own different...
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[COLUMN] Gung Hei Fat Stacks!
Wincy writes:
I didn’t go home for Chinese New Year, but I still got $240 (and counting!) in red pocket money from relatives, ZERO EFFORT REQUIRED.
Calendars are funny business. Sure, there’s that regular one that claims today is January 27, 2012. But then there’s also the one Mayan calendar that claims we’re not going to live past this year. Furthermore, we’ve got people trying to change the...
January 2012
13 posts
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[COLUMN] Hello norovirus!
@mlkchung writes:
You should congratulate everyone who was at #nash74 for surviving #pukegate2012!
Every year, many university newspapers, Imprint included, send some of its finest editors, reporters, and staff off to NASH, a national conference hosted by the Canadian University Press. This year, student journalists flocked to Victoria, B.C., for NASH74. Like any good conference out there,...
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[COLUMN] Adult Mode: ACTIVATE
Leslie writes:
I’ve been on vacation in Barbados since January 6th! Sure, my friend and I have missed a good week of school or so, but with constant classes, volunteering, and employment, we need a break, and we just so happen to like the sun.
Leslie, you have a Facebook account, right? Of course you do, you’re a youngster; youngsters love to use Facebook and the Internet. If you’ve been paying...
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[COLUMN] It's not the most wonderful time of the...
Julia writes:
I’ve survived yet another holiday season! I guess it’s not really a big deal, except my holidays tend to be filled with torment stemming from my surname: Christmas.
Oh, the winter break: a time of gathering, be it for a recognized holiday of significance or just for those government-mandated days off, coupled with gift-giving, food-eating, and lazy-being. I’d go on and on about how...
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Stop SOPA! Continue soaping.
Rather than actually discuss SOPA, I have prepared a few lists for you to consider. It’s mostly because I am probably terrible at explaining things, but bear in mind that far more knowledgeable people may have weighed in on topics like this. ANYWAY:
SITES YOU SHOULD GO ON TODAY FOR FUNZIES:
Wikipedia! I’m sure there’s some random facts out there that you wanna know about, like...
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[COLUMN] Writing is kinda hard, yo.
Caitlin writes:
I’m participating in NaNoWriMo, and somehow, I’ve managed to finish the 50,000 word requirement to complete the challenge of writing a novel, despite leaving 30,000 of those words for the last two weeks!
November is a month of many occasions – Remembrance Day, U.S. Thanksgiving (a.k.a. Round Two for some of us Canadians), Black Friday, Movember, and of course, NaNoWriMo, more...
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[COLUMN] JLUW
Redditor movermeyer writes:
The Campus Response Team are awesome accident super-responders, some of whom are trained to the same level as firefighters! They volunteer their time in order to train and make sure that if anything terrible should happen at an event on/near campus that they’ll be ready to provide first response capability. They get trained for everything from minor broken bones and...
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[COLUMN] CREATION MONOMYTH 2011
Paulina writes:
WELP. I got rejected by the only boy I’ve wanted to date in years, BUT I realized how great my friends were because they tried so hard to cheer me up, and I’ve started seeing a really wonderful guy! Oh, and the weather’s been pretty great to me, and I got a 90 on my calculus quiz!
Life has its ups and downs. Everyone knows this. Somewhere out there is a reader, down in the dumps....
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[COLUMN] "I'm not silly-drunk!"
Mika wrote:
I made a promise to myself a month ago that I would not get drunk. Since then, I’ve actually been reasonably sober and responsible with my drinking!
I’m not gonna lie: as the majority of us are young adults, now-legal things like consumption of alcohol and smoking are bound to be rampant across university! I don’t know where you stand with nicotine (for all I know, you could be...
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[COLUMN] It's dangerous to go alone! Take this job...
Karl said:
I’ve had an average of four interviews a week for the last month, and basically, I’ve been doing interviews like a boss! I’ve ended up with a couple of rankings and even some offers!
Let’s face it: we’re into November now. That’s two months of this term – we’re over halfway done. Oh dearest readers, I don’t care if this is your first year at university, I don’t care if you’re...
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[COLUMN] Humans vs. Zombies vs. Ninjas?
Colleen writes:
My friend Kevin and I are participating as Humans in the campus-wide game of Humans vs. Zombies, and we were trapped in the Arts Lecture Hall by several zombies who covered all of the building exits. However, we were able to sneak past them out an exit and escape to a safe zone unnoticed!
One campus. 1000 acres. 15 original zombies and over 400 players. Sweaty headbands and...
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[COLUMN] WELP, if all the cool kids are doing...
Edith writes:
Today, I had a life-changing realization: everyone poops.
Edith? You are absolutely right. Everyone does indeed poop. From the profs to the geese, and the frosh to the police, everyone takes a little bit of time from their day to take a poop. There’s a reason why dudes actually leave the seat down sometimes, and it’s because of that need to excrete.
I don’t blame you for only...
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[COLUMN] Cook ALL the turkey!
Winnie writes:
I baked my first turkey ever over Thanksgiving weekend, but I may have exploded by the time you congratulate me ): ): ): ):
First things first: feel yourself up. Go on, do it. Your hands, take them and run them all over your body.
BEFORE you run off and accuse Imprint of running creepy, perverted columns in their Distractions section, allow me to clarify! Feel your body. Is...
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[COLUMN] Co-op, like you've never seen before!
Steve writes:
Awesomeness: 68 people applied for my UWaterloo co-op job! Less-Awesomeness: I need to find time to read 68 résumé packages.
There are some people that say there are two sides to everything. Somewhere out there is a Dungeons and Dragons player, furiously clutching his dice in defiance of these people, but the intent is clear: there’s more than meets the eye! In this particular...
November 2011
7 posts
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[COLUMN] “But mom! Video games ARE my job!”
Ivan writes:
I now have three jobs this school term! Two of them are writing for gaming communities; one of them specifically for Starcraft 2 and the other is a multi-gaming community. The last job is a Starcraft 2 event coordinator!
FUN FACT: the first round of co-op jobs just ended! I, along with many other students, have spent countless hours, compiling cover letters and résumés, wrestling...
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Would anyone like to be congratulated gratuitously... →
Because y’know, I’ll do it, if you want.
What I’m basically saying is from now until the end of November (or so), any submissions received to YASF! in its ask box (or even replies to this post), I will consider for usage on the actual newspaper. I figure this’ll be something fun to do. I’ve largely been congratulating people from around campus and I haven’t...
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[COLUMN] C-C-C-Class attendance!
Terrance writes:
I went to all my classes for the first week! Some might not find this impressive, but by the time you’re in fourth year…yeah.
Congratulations, Terrance! You made it to all your classes for one whole week! That’s five days (god forbid you somehow have weekend classes) of getting yourself out of bed, making sure you’re adequately clothed and not naked, and showing up on campus,...
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"WIPE THIS DOWN."
and other quality moments from the pilot episode of AMC’s Breaking Bad!
Higher quality (but not tumblr-friendly) .gifs are included after the jump.
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[COLUMN] Co-op students: we haven't forgotten...
AS PROMISED: columns! Or y’know, a singular column, from way back in September. I swear I could’ve still worn shorts in September. They’re comfy and easy to wear! But eh, I’m not THAT much of a youngster anyway.
Here’s the column as I wrote it prior to any proofreader and/or editor changes. I should also note that there’s no actual link to the article on the...
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News for people who like news past midnight!
Alternatively: news for people who like to read news posts posted after midnight, but at their own leisure. I’d totally understand, you’re a busy guy, you’ve got a tight schedule, and you’re probably sleeping right now, and that’s okay. I understand. But anyway.
Oh hey, You Are Superfantastic! is not dead!
“But Ron! The website’s not been updated in...
October 2011
2 posts
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September 2011
2 posts
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[COLUMN] Hi! You're in university!
If the site’s been a little dead lately, I apologize! There’s this thing called “Orientation Week” which is geared towards first years, and while I may not be a first year, I’m totally helping out with that! Sadly, this means fewer updates, congratulations, .gifs, or anything, really. On the other hand, I did write an orientation-specific column for Imprint, which was...
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POST-SECONDARY RRRRRRRRRAAAAAGE
“But I don’t wanna go to university/college/post-secondary education!”
Brilliant clip courtesy of the folks over at 5 Second Films. Higher resolution .gif and source video after the jump.
I guess you could also call this the official “Oh hey guys I’m going back to university so I will probably be posting even less than I normally do, which isn’t even all...
August 2011
12 posts
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Problem, dog?
and I don’t mean trollface, I mean Breaking Bad .gifs:
Big’uns after the jump. erm, higher resolution ones, I mean.
frig, that looks fun to do.
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AY GURL.
or um. boy.
Anonymous said:
I asked a boy for his number. the first time in my whole life. he’s so super cute.
There comes a time in every child’s life when they begin to notice other people in different, oddly-specific ways. The once-flabby boys, capable of the best truffle shuffles, are suddenly virile and handsome, and the girls, formerly queens of the gossip circuit, now have...
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SHOTGUN
Man, Jesse from Breaking Bad would be the best/worst passenger to have.
Higher resolution .gifs after the jump!
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Something someone did over the summer break:
hiimjamie said:
I’ve run into this blog at least 2 times over the last year. I thought it was cool, because like, enthusiasm and Pokemon. Two of my favourite things. DIDN’T REALIZE UNTIL STUDENT LIFE 101 TODAY THAT YOU GUYS ARE OUT OF UW/HAVE A COLUMN IN IMPRINT. SERIOUSLY WTF. I’ve been excited about coming to Waterloo for two years now and didn’t even… seriously....
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[COLUMN] Empty nest syndrome
This particular column here was the last one written for the Spring 2011 volume of Imprint. There have only been six in total, but it’s been a pretty fun ride. I figure Fall’s gonna come around sooner than any of us will expect. On a similar note, I should note that my final exam is on August 10, so you can probably expect regular updates to resume on the Friday, and if not, definitely...
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Happy Civic Holiday, Canadians!
youaresuperfantastic:
OMG U SO PUNNAY
Canadians far and wide on this special day will observe a day of rest! A day of relaxation! A day of regular work and unholidayness if you live in Quebec, Newfoundland and Labrador or the Yukon! Y’know, those dudes don’t celebrate Civic Holiday! But for the rest of Canada, huzzah! Long weekend for the win!
I even went onto the Wikipedia page for Civic...
